It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything and a lot has happened. Parts of this summer have been really difficult, full of tears, doubts and questioning whether I really should have done TeamEffort in the first place. There are times where God never felt so far away, where I felt like I had failed Him, my team, and myself. But, through it all I have seen God’s hand, knowing that He is working all things out for my good and His glory. I began to really understand the reality that life isn’t about me being comfortable. Life with Christ is about me becoming holy like Him, set apart for Him and His glory.
At the beginning of the summer, before I even came to TeamEffort, I surrendered the summer to the Lord. I’ve written about some of the ways where I have been challenged on that throughout the whole summer. I think that the second half of the summer, I began to grasp that in order for me to become refined to who Christ wanted me to be, I was going to walk through some fire. Because the past is the past, I don’t want to write about all the tears I cried, all the struggles I had, all the times where I really questioned my worth in Christ. Rather, I want to focus on what God’s purpose for me this summer was:
I am who God says I am.
There were MANY times this summer where I knew I wasn’t qualified to be here; but, God constantly reminded me that I was CALLED to be here, not qualified. God uses the unqualified, the failures, the doubters, the broken all for HIS glory. He was going to use me despite my grumpy days, attitude, fears and insecurities. As I began to understand that, I was able to be set free from the bondage of my fears and insecurities, and was able to find true joy in Christ, to love with all my heart, and cling to Him and His strength despite my weaknesses and exhaustion.
The other thing that I really wanted to share was from 1 Corinthians 12:12-31. This passage is all about the body of Christ, something we have all probably heard before. God began to challenge me on this passage in my own life this summer. Did I really believe that every person was uniquely gifted to be able to come together with the rest of the body to glorify God? There were times where I envied others with crazy, loud personalities, or who knew anything and everything on the worksite. I felt incapable of doing a good job on the worksite or bonding with campers because I didn’t have a certain personality, was unsure of how to approach certain projects, didn’t like speaking in front of large groups of people, and the list goes on and on. It was really a struggle for me, especially when I first got to New Orleans, and even now. God has really begun to strip me of the mentality that in order to be used by Him, I needed to be a certain way. It’s not about that. It’s about surrendering myself to Him to be used in any way He desires, and be willing to go where His Spirit leads me. 1 Corinthians 12 talks all about how we all can’t be a certain way. But, if I am overflowing with the love of Christ, embracing the way He has made me, and seeking how He wants us to use me, I WILL be used by Him. God uses who He wants to use to bring glory to His name.
So, that’s just a little bit of what God has been teaching me. I have one week left of my incredible summer with TeamEffort and I know God is going to continue to move, to grow me, and to challenge me. I have been blessed in unfathomable ways, have learned so much, and can’t wait to see all He has in store for me as I seek Him and His kingdom.